The transitive property tells us that if a=b and b=c, than a=c.  In the world of athletics, this means that if Team A beats Team B, and Team B beats Team C, Team A would beat Team C.  Using this infallible logic, we proved that Northwestern would beat every team in the NCAA Tournament and would win the National Title.  How?  Our Jason Dorow (@jasondorow) and Ben Goren (@BenG412) explain.

Midwest Regional

1) Kentucky

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Wisconsin 67-62
• Wisconsin beat Kentucky 71-64

Drake should be cheering for a different team of Wildcats next year.

16) Hampton

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Hampton 90-56

Jarrod Uthoff tried to make this one a lot harder on us.

16) Manhattan

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Manhattan 63-55

What even is a Jasper? Can it play basketball? Evidently not.  It lost to Rutgers.

8) Cincinnati

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Nebraska 70-59
• Nebraska beat Cincinnati 56-55

It’s pretty simple. If you lose to the Cornhuskers, NU is better than you.

9) Purdue

• Northwestern beat North Florida 69-67
• North Florida beat Purdue 73-70

HAHAHAHAHAHA Purdue lost to North Florida.

5) West Virginia

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Clemson 69-64
• Clemson beat LSU 64-61
• LSU beat West Virginia 74-73

Rutgers won multiple basketball games this season?

12) Buffalo

• Northwestern beat Western Michigan 67-61
• Western Michigan beat Buffalo 78-68

This must be the most direct route from the Lakefill to Niagara Falls.

4) Maryland

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61.
• Iowa beat Maryland 71-55.

Why Melo Trimble would want to face NU again? The world may never know.

13) Valparaiso

• Northwestern beat Western Michigan 67-61
• Western Michigan beat Oakland 82-71
• Oakland beat Valparaiso 89-75

Further proof that the Collins family coaching tree tops the Drews, if that wasn’t obvious.

6) Butler

• Northwestern beat Indiana 72-65
• Indiana beat Butler 82-73.

Evidence that Bryant McIntosh is the best Hoosier ever.

11) Texas

• Northwestern beat Indiana 72-65
• Indiana beat Butler 82-73
• Butler beat Texas 56-48

Can Shaka Smart make Texas better than Northwestern? Doubtful.

3) Notre Dame

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Providence 77-67
• Providence beat Notre Dame 75-74

Maybe this would be a lot easier for football!

14) Northeastern

• Northwestern beat Elon 68-67
• Elon beat Northeastern 72-65

You don’t need a compass to know who’s the better squad here.

7) Wichita State

• Northwestern beat Penn State 60-39
• Penn State beat George Washington 64-51
• George Washington beat Wichita State 60-54

I hope this isn’t too shocking! …. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

10) Indiana

• Northwestern beat Indiana 72-65.

The hot seat must be particularly warm when you can’t keep your pants on. FYI Tom Crean, the state of Indiana is upset.

2) Kansas

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Wisconsin 67-62
• Wisconsin beat Oklahoma 69-56.
• Oklahoma beat Kansas 75-73

Bless the home court advantage that is the RAC.

15) New Mexico State

• Northwestern beat Minnesota 72-66
• Minnesota beat Seattle 92-57
• Seattle beat New Mexico State 58-52

I cannot express in words how great an Alex Olah vs. Sim Bhullar match-up would be.

EAST REGIONAL

1) Villanova

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Providence 77-67
• Providence beat Georgetown 60-57
• Georgetown beat Villanova 78-58

When I was a kid, I called Villanova Villivanova. Villivanova sounds like a much better name to me.

16) Lafayette

• Northwestern beat Penn State 60-39
• Penn State beat Bucknell 88-80
• Bucknell beat Lafayette 79-69

The real story here is that Penn State scored 88 points in one game.

8) NC State

• Northwestern beat North Florida 69-67
• North Florida beat Purdue 73-70
• Purdue beat NC State 66-61

HAHAHAHAHAHA Purdue lost to North Florida.

9) LSU

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Clemson 69-64
• Clemson beat LSU 64-61

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AT THE RAC.

5) UNI

• Northwestern beat Western Michigan 67-61
• Western Michigan beat Drake 91-75
• Drake beat Evansville 70-65
• Evansville beat Northern Iowa 52-49

/pours some out for Kale Abrahamson

12) Wyoming

• Northwestern beat Indiana 72-65
• Indiana beat SMU 74-68
• SMU beat Wyoming 66-53

We can extend this to say that any player on Northwestern is better than Larry Nance Jr, which means any player on Northwestern is better than Larry Nance. Or something.

4) Louisville

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat North Carolina 60-55
• North Carolina beat Louisville 72-71

Whoever wins between Roy Williams and Rick Pitino, we lose.

13) UC Irvine

• Northwestern beat Elon 68-67
• Elon beat Morgan State 74-73
• Morgan State beat UC Irvine 63-62

Elon’s Tanner Samson is probably my second favorite player from a team NU played this year.

6) Providence

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Providence 77-67

That’s right. A 6 seed in the tournament lost to freaking Brown. Way to go, Friars.

11) Dayton

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Davidson 83-52
• Davidson beat Dayton 77-60

Take solace, Dayton, your mascot name is the best in the business. Fly on, Flyers.

11) Boise State

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Wisconsin 67-62
• Wisconsin beat Boise State 78-54

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AT THE RAC

3) Oklahoma

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Wisconsin 67-62
• Wisconsin beat Oklahoma 69-56

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AT THE RAC.

14) Albany

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Providence 77-67
• Providence beat Albany 64-60

Albany would lose to Northwestern because Albany is a colder, winteryer, less exciting version of Evanston/Chicago.

7) Michigan State

• Northwestern beat Minnesota 72-66
• Minnesota beat Michigan State 96-90

Further proof that Michigan State was mediocre until they realized March had started.

10) Georgia

• Northwestern beat Minnesota 72-66
• Minnesota beat Georgia 66-62

Friendly reminder that a team with Deandre Mathieu, Mo Walker, Nate Mason, and Andre Hollins missed the NCAA by a whole heck of a lot.

2) Virginia

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat North Carolina 60-55
• North Carolina beat Virginia 71-67

Virginia is also guilty of playing the worst game of the season: a 45-26 win against Rutgers.

15) Belmont

• Northwestern beat UIC 63-46
• UIC beat Wright State 79-75
• Wright State beat Belmont 73-70

FLAME ON, UIC

SOUTH REGIONAL

1) Duke

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Providence 77-67
• Providence beat Notre Dame 75-74
• Notre Dame beat Duke 77-73

Turns out, NU over Brown was the Wildcats’ biggest win of the year.

16) Robert Morris

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Bryant 69-62
• Bryant beat Robert Morris 71-68

I think we should have done this article about how Brown is better than everyone.

16) North Florida

• Northwestern beat North Florida 69-67

Quality win over the Ospreys that one.

8) San Diego State

• Northwestern beat Elon 68-67
• Elon beat Marist 69-64
• Marist beat Fresno State 68-64
• Fresno State beat San Diego State 59-57

Does this mean NU has the best fab five?

9) St John’s

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Providence 77-67
• Providence beat St. John’s 74-57

Should have definitely done this article about Brown.

5) Utah

• Northwestern beat Michigan 82-78
• Michigan beat Oregon 70-63
• Oregon beat Utah 69-58

TBH Tre Demps’s Michigan magic would sink any team.

12) Stephen F. Austin

• Northwestern beat Houston Baptist 65-58
• Houston Baptist beat Texas A&M Corpus Christi 77-66
• Texas A&M Corpus Christi beat Stephen F. Austin 71-63

Surely this is the weirdest chain of the whole article.

4) Georgetown

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Providence 77-67
• Providence beat Georgetown 60-57

Brown is the best team in the whole country.

13) Eastern Washington

• Northwestern beat Indiana 72-65
• Indiana beat SMU 74-68
• SMU beat Eastern Washington 77-68

At least EWU will always have their awesome football field.

6) SMU

• Northwestern beat Indiana 72-65
• Indiana beat SMU 74-68

Northwestern would also beat SMU because Chicago is a more important and better city than Dallas.

11) UCLA

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat North Carolina 60-55
• North Carolina beat UCLA 78-56

You can’t convince me that UCLA’s tournament resume is any better than NU’s.

3) Iowa State

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Maryland 71-55
• Maryland beat Iowa State 72-63

Not over Iowa State busting up my bracket real bad. On the bright side, I guess Hoiberg won’t be coaching the Bulls next year.

14) UAB

• Northwestern beat Houston Baptist 65-58
• Houston Baptist beat Rice 58-55
• Rice beat UAB 82-73

Y’all were all sleeping on Houston Baptist. Big mistake.

7) Iowa

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61

YEAH NORTHWESTERN BEAT ANOTHER NCAA TOURNAMENT TEAM

10) Davidson

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Davidson 83-52

Further proof that Steph Curry is a poor man’s Bryant McIntosh.

2) Gonzaga

• Northwestern beat North Florida 69-67
• North Florida beat Purdue 73-70
• Purdue beat BYU 87-85
• BYU beat Gonzaga 73-70

Dallas Moore of North Florida is my favorite player not on Northwestern I saw this year. Dude can ball.

15) North Dakota State

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat North Dakota State 87-56

Poor, Bison. They would never have stood a chance against the mighty Wildcats.

West Regional

1) Wisconsin

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Wisconsin 67-62

Death, taxes, Wisconsin losing on the big stage.

16) Coastal Carolina

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Wisconsin 67-62
• Wisconsin beat 86-72

Reminder that a chanticleer is a “proud and fierce rooster that owns the barnyard.”

8) Oregon

• Northwestern beat Michigan 82-78
• Michigan beat Oregon 70-63

Apparently having flashy jerseys and painting a forest on your court doesn’t make you any better at basketball. Still, throw it down, Snoop Dogg.

9) Oklahoma State

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Maryland 71-55
• Maryland beat Oklahoma State 73-64

By this point, there can’t be a Big 12 team thinking about joining Nebraska in the B1G.

5) Arkansas

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Clemson 69-64
• Clemson beat Arkansas 68-65

I really wish these were football games.

12) Wofford

• Northwestern beat Elon 68-67
• Elon beat William & Mary 85-79
• William & Mary beat Wofford 66-62

William & Mary and NU can celebrate never making the tourney but being the best teams ever together.

4) North Carolina

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat North Carolina 60-55

This can only mean Northwestern will beat UNC in the CBE Hall of Fame Classic next year.

13) Harvard

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Dartmouth 67-64
• Dartmouth beat Harvard 70-61

These aren’t actually scores. They are the ACT sums of a couple at the university.

6) Xavier

• Northwestern beat Brown 69-56
• Brown beat Providence 77-67
• Providence beat Xavier 69-66

I just hope Matt Stainbrook doesn’t have to drive an Uber anymore.

11) Ole Miss

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Vanderbilt 68-65
• Vanderbilt beat Ole Miss 86-77

The only better home court advantage than the RAC is having the benches situated along the baselines.

11) BYU

• Northwestern beat North Florida 69-67
• North Florida beat Purdue 73-70
• Purdue beat BYU 87-85

Jimmer Fredette and Dave Sobolewski: world’s greatest basketball doppelgangers.

3) Baylor

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Illinois 68-60
• Illinois beat Baylor 62-54

Iowa giving Brown a run for their money for most valuable victory.

14) Georgia State (Hold on to your chairs people)

• Northwestern beat Houston Baptist 65-58
• Houston Baptist beat McNeese State 68-56
• McNeese State beat ULL 80-70
• ULL beat Georgia State 84-80

I’m starting to think there might be too many D-I college basketball teams.

7) VCU

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Ohio State 71-65
• Ohio State beat VCU 75-72

No wonder Vic Law chose NU over the Rams.

10) Ohio State

• Northwestern beat Iowa 66-61
• Iowa beat Ohio State 71-65

I think I’m having deja vu.

2) Arizona

• Northwestern beat Rutgers 51-47
• Rutgers beat Wisconsin 67-62
• Wisconsin beat Arizona 85-78

Is this the point where we remind you that Wisconsin didn’t have Frank Kaminsky at the RAC? Nah.

15) Texas Southern 

• Northwestern beat Indiana 72-65
• Indiana beat Texas Southern 83-64

Northwestern is officially the best college basketball team on planet Earth!