Nick Brilowski recently completed the Herculean task of compiling every Northwestern men’s basketball player’s stats in one place. It must’ve taken incredibly long, and I advise everyone to check it out because it’s very cool.
But I immediately went somewhere else.
With a list of every men’s basketball player ever, I have been given to create the definitive Northwestern All-Name Team. This was a labor of love. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
Second Team All-Name
That name is peak stodgy Northwestern.
Who names their child William Williams? That’s straight mean-spirited.
This name sounds like a plucky detective from a 1950’s movie.
I don’t pretend to know how to pronounce that first name, but it’s awesome.
First Team All-Name Team
IT’S A TREE STORM. LOOK OUT SHARKNADO, JIM IS COMING FOR YOUR CROWN.
Famous poet turned NU walk-on.
I am a mature adult.